A Different Way To Plan For Next Year

The Problem

You can hit your goals and still feel unsatisfied. You can have a “great year” on paper and wonder why it doesn’t feel good—why getting what you thought you wanted leaves you tired, flat, or disappointed.

What I’ve noticed, in my own life and in coaching sharp, capable leaders, is that this time of year we focus almost entirely on what to do next. We spend far less time paying attention to how we feel while we’re doing it.

The Discovery

This year, I worked with a voice coach and a therapist to help me make sense of motherhood. I can’t remember every insight or exercise we did together. But I remember how they were with me.

Empathetic. Steady. Curious. Even when the topic was hard, there was a feeling of possibility and creativity, like there were many ways we could work with what was in front of us.

People rarely remember our exact words. They remember our presence.

The same is true in conflict. I can replay moments where I don’t remember precisely what I said, but I remember the heat in my body and the sharpness in my voice. That emotional residue lingers far longer than the content.

If you’re a busy, ambitious person, your energy is a precious resource. So if you’re going to focus on a goal for next year, aim for the highest-leverage place—the part that people (including you) will remember: how you move through your days.

Instead of, “What do I want to accomplish?” ask:

How do I want to be while doing all this?

The Experiment

Step 1: Start with what you want to do

Write down everything you think you want to do next year.

The promotion.
The learning.
The health reset.
The creative projects.
The overdue life admin.

Get it all out. This is your Doing List.

Then put it aside. You’re not deleting it, you’re just not leading with it.

Step 2: Make a Being List

Now make a second list. Instead of actions, list traits, ways of being you want more access to.

Calm
Brave
Patient
Grounded
Curious
Playful
Decisive
Self-trusting
Spacious

Which trait feels most urgent? Which one, if you had more of it, would help the rest fall into place?

Circle that one. That’s your starting point.

Step 3: Ask what this trait makes possible

Now bring your Doing List back. Ask yourself:

• If I showed up with more of this trait, what would change about how I approach these Doing-Goals?

• What conversations would become easier?

• What decisions would stop dragging on?

• What would I stop forcing?

Traits expand what feels possible.

Step 4: Play with time

Look at this trait through a couple time horizons.

Zoom in — the next two weeks

• How would this quality show up in your next meeting?

• In how you start your mornings?

• In the way you speak to yourself when something doesn’t go as planned?

Turns out you don’t have to wait for a new year to be more of who you want to be.

Zoom out — 2030

• If I practiced this trait consistently (not perfectly) what could I build by 2030?

• What patterns might it slowly interrupt?

• What becomes possible when I’m no longer trying to force everything to happen right now?

We try to stuff everything into next year. It’s a lot to ask of twelve months. This longer view relieves the pressure to fix everything next year. It gives you room to dream bigger. 

We tend to overestimate what we can do in one year and underestimate what we can do in five.

The Takeaway

This month is an invitation to choose the traits that make your goals more likely and more sustainable. When I did this myself, the first trait that rose to the top was methodical. The next time, patience. The time after that, trust.

That’s how this work actually unfolds. One trait leads to the next in an ongoing conversation with yourself.

So as you head into 2026, keep your Doing-Goals. Just don’t stop there. Choose a way of being you want to practice. The real measure of a “great year” isn’t just what you accomplish. It’s who you become along the way.

____________________________________